(I never rechecked thia blog because I’m not in a mood to so sorry for all the errors)
Ki haal chaal aye? Hope you are great!!! Okay, i know, I am sorry….I’m sorry…I promised to update on the weekend and I’m super super late but you know….. I suck at promises when they are time bound. If i make an open promise I’ll surely fulfill it but time bound promises are something i can’t keep. People ask me why is it so hard to trust people? And i counter question them why is it so hard to keep promises? Anyways, what I’ve learned through my teeny tiny life is that promises are meant to be broken.
No, this was not something I thought until a year ago… It makes my heart sick when I remember those good words and broken promises. No I’m sorry😂😂not broken promises, those were promises that-were-never-meant-to-be-kept. Promises are worse than lies, because you make other’s hope….hope for something you’re not sure your can give or something you know you won’t give. But still….I’ve no grudges on anyone for those never-meant-to-be -kept promises.
Literally, i was an asshole. I curse myself for trusting those fucking promises. Every time I trust someone they make me realize thousands of reasons why I should not trust anyone, any single person in my life. You know…..what I’ve learned through my past experiences is that trust can become really expensive like….really really expensive if it’s invested in the wrong person. And believe me bad things , very very bad things happen when we trust the wrong person.
Okay, so last time i told you guys that we started chatting on WhatsApp. Then finally, in a million years….i was granted my own phone. We continued talking there ,we had Small and light conversations. With the passage of time , i realized that if i don’t text first, he never texts me. Because i was fed up, i had chased him a very long way throughout those 7-8 months. So, one day i just stopped texting him without any complaint or anything. 1 day passed, 1 week passed, 1 month passed, we didn’t talk. But at that time although i tried not to pay attention to him but he was always there somewhere in the back of my mind. And then one day me being the clumsy awkward person I am, i texted him by mistake(or should I call it a mistake😂?) No seriously it was a mistake; i was forwarding a text to someone and by mistake i sent it to him. Anyways, i deleted it instantly. But WhatsApp being a stubborn WhatsApp showed that some message had been deleted. He texted me at night about what I had texted. But, i told him it was a mistake i wasn’t going to text him. Yet he asked me how i was. And i asked him to go fuck himself ( no no i didn’t, just kidding, I’m not that mannerless). I told him I was fine because he had gone from my life and i didn’t want him back. But he said je wanted to come back and he apologized a lot for not texting and for not keeping up. And i had a big NO on my face. But he cried and insisted (he literally cried). And guess what? I let him back in my life😂*round of applause*. Oh my God!! What a stupid asshole i am. So from now I’ll keep it short and simple.
Life went on….he hurt me many times in the period. And when i say “many times” this means that I’m even unable to count. There was a time where i became suicidal. He stopped me , like really stopped me with loyalty bit he never made a commitment. That was the day, he lost me…. That was the day, he came out of my heart. I never talked to him after that. But I was deeply hurt so I cursed him that may God ruin him( i never knew it would become true). The reason, the main reason I narrated my story was to tell people that please please don’t curse people even if they are your enemies. Please leave everything on karma. Karma is the best teacher. The night i cursed him that may God ruin him, the next night, his father died and HE WAS RUINED. (I wish those words never cane out of my mouth). And i feel awful for him, i never wanted him to become an orphan. It’s been quite a lot of time since we last talked. I don’t even remember his surname, now😅.
This phase of my life taught me many things. Such as there is no such thing as “love before marriage”. The thing which we feel is not love, it’s am intense attraction towards the person of the opposite gender. He was the first and last person of my life. Before writing these blogs i was not sure whether i had moved on or not. ….but someone said that if your story doesn’t make you cry anymore, then you have moved on. And believe me I never cried, I didn’t even feel bad while narrating my story, so I have moved on….and so should you. After all this drama of my life , one thing is for sure; NOBODY IS ENTERING MY HEART BEFORE I WEAR THE VEIL OF MU WEDDING DRESS.
Girl……going offline xxx